Wow, Amanda, I'm SO honored. This is extraordinary and I need to really digest all of it. I can tell you right now that the photos of you and your mom are just wonderful and as always, your artistic creativity shines.

It's so difficult to choose not to walk in your mother's shoes. (I hope I'm reading this right.) I chose not to walk in mine's as well. Now, I have to learn how to walk in a new path that nobody has prepared me for. When my dad died, Mom was in the throes of alz, and didn't realize he was gone except for a couple of times a month. She'd "wake up" and cry and moan, then 15 minutes later, forget all about it. I love that you added the image of a little girl, representing your mom as a child. I often had to visualize mine as a child to forgive her. I tried to love the "child my mom was". (I hope you know that I'm in NO way thinking that your relationship with your mom is the same as mine was.)

WOW! I've never inspired someone before and I am honored. There is so much packed into this page. I love your smiling face! I love the light circle you are in and have embraced the words. I can see you live them not just say them. Your moms circle while beautiful isn't as bright. I dont see her words living in her circle either. What a powerful statement. It takes more then words to trust and live in the light. I am so in love with your page. I keep going back and reading it again and again. Such much beauty and love and faith and it pours out of this page. So wonderful. You are amazing!

@Cherylndesigns and @AK_Tracy " I tried to love the "child my mom was" "-
Yes, Cheryl, you are exactly spot on. Mom only recently told me of some feelings of abandonment she carries from childhood. As an only child, she was lonely often. Grandma was terrific- I really identify with her spunk and creativity- she HAND sewed some of her clothes and was scuba diving at 69! Grandpa was quite a ladies man and alcoholic. Sad. Mom experienced all those things, and never really developed her full potential. Depression has been a major part of her life; not knowing how to grab hold of the promises and freedom found in the same faith she taught me. The pic of the little girl is her at I think 5?

Amandajk said:

@Cherylndesigns and @AK_Tracy " I tried to love the "child my mom was" "-
Yes, Cheryl, you are exactly spot on. Mom only recently told me of some feelings of abandonment she carries from childhood. As an only child, she was lonely often. Grandma was terrific- I really identify with her spunk and creativity- she HAND sewed some of her clothes and was scuba diving at 69! Grandpa was quite a ladies man and alcoholic. Sad. Mom experienced all those things, and never really developed her full potential. Depression has been a major part of her life; not knowing how to grab hold of the promises and freedom found in the same faith she taught me. The pic of the little girl is her at I think 5?

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Boy does that hit home. I wasn't an only child, but felt abandoned just the same. I've done a lot of work on loving the inner child - hers and mine. It's quite an effective therapy. My two grandmothers made more of an impact on my life than my mom did. Especially my paternal grandma - as a child. When I got older, I was heavily influenced by my matenal grandmother. Both my grandpa's were stinkers for lack of a better word. Quite a correlation.